| Friday, May 26, 2006 |
| Free Prose Friday |
... and a quickie Free Prose Friday at that.
1. I heard that the love scenes in "Brokeback Mountain" are "tasteful." Let me tell you something: It isn't tasteful. Two guys hugging and kissing in an romantic scene is just plain sick! It's disgusting! And it gives me the creeps.
2. Remember, don't hate the illegal aliens. Hate the system that doesn't enforce the laws.
3. I'm all DaVinci'ed out. Please, no more.
4. I'm hoping to have a guest writer while I'm out. If it doesn't pan out, please fill you blog addiction at http://ardwynfarm.blogspot.com/.
5. Two words: Europe, baby! Two weeks of bad teeth, BO and hairy women! No, really, I'm about as giddy as a little boy before Christmas. I hope to be able to sleep tonight. See you in two weeks. |
posted by Joe Napalm @ 4:45 PM   |
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| Wednesday, May 24, 2006 |
| Screwtape on DaVinci Code |
You can always count on ol' Joe to cut through all of the babble and worthless junk and report on the relevant, important material. It's like I'm sitting here reading the Matrix and only calling you when you need to know something, isn't it?
Anyway, I ran into this the other day. After it's all said and done, this is one of the tools you need in your arsenal to combat DaVinci Code flimflam. Eric Metaxas, a New York writer and speaker, wrote this wonderful essay concerning The DaVinci Code. It is a witty sequel to The Screwtape Letters by C. S. Lewis. Mr. Metaxas has Screwtape describe for Wormwood the way Dan Brown's conspiracy works: ...There is the manner in which the book seduces its reader with naked flattery, holding out the carrot -- or should I say apple -- of "inside knowledge." Make note of this, Wormwood; it worked wonders for us in Eden and works for us still. The author trots out the ageless fiddle-faddle about a parallel "reality" beside the "official" one everyone's been sold. You know, the moth-eaten, bedraggled idea that all of history is a grand "conspiracy" conducted by some hidden elites! But wait, the lucky reader is to be let in on it all, and for the mere price of purchasing this book! He'll learn the "real" story behind the "official" story that all the other saps have been buying for lo! these many centuries. Heady stuff, eh, Wormwood? Transparent as it might seem to us, this temptation has always been too great for the humans to bear. They ache to be part of that "inside" group that knows what's "really" going on, and they fall for it every time. It's not so different from their craving for gossip or "dirt"; only better, since there isn't the pesky nuisance of guilt to deal with. They cannot help themselves; they simply swallow it without a thought. That's the key, Wormwood, for if actual thinking can be prevented, the humans are under our control.
If I had written this, I think I would have substituted "testing" for "thinking." Theologically speaking, Truth is not obtainable just by thinking; it has to be revealed. Otherwise, the entire letter is a "homerun." You can read the reprint at http://churchofthemasses.blogspot.com/. |
| posted by Joe Napalm @ 11:07 AM |
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| Tuesday, May 23, 2006 |
| Blah, Blah, DaVinci Code, Blah, Blah |
OK, so yesterday the obligatory DaVinci Code discussion came up at work. It started how all other "religious" discussions begin at work: Joe, what do you think about...?
Specifically, the topic was about Mary Magdalene -- who she was and who does Dan Brown, the author of The DaVinci Code, say she was.
Believe it or not, I wasn't prepared. Was Jesus married? I know that one. Is the man identified as John in the Last Supper really Mary? I know that one, too. What are the Gnostic Gospels? I know that one. But, who was Mary Magdalene? Wasn't Mary the prostitute whom Jesus cast out demons? And didn't she anoint Jesus' feet with her tears and wipe them with her hair? Sounds about right, doesn't it? But it's all wrong.
I told them I'd do my research and get back to them.
Get this: Mary wasn't a prostitute. Not a big shocker, I know. But, many people have confused Mary Magdalene with the woman caught in adultery but saved by Jesus' "cast the first stone" dialogue (Mark 8). Mary was a woman of independent means that helped finance Jesus' ministry.
Yes, Mary Magdalene was cured of seven demons (Luke 8) -- though we're not told who cast them out.
And, lastly, Mary Magdalene didn't anoint Jesus' feet -- or at least we never told of it. In Matthew, Mark and Luke, an unnamed, sinful woman with an alabaster jar anoints Jesus. In the book of John, while Jesus is dining at the home of Mary, Martha and Lazarus, Mary anoints Jesus' feet with ointment and wipes them with her hair. In all accounts, the act draws criticism from "some" (Mark), from Jesus' "disciples" (Matthew), from Simon (Luke), or from Judas Iscariot (John).
Luke tells the story of that sinful woman immediately before he introduces Mary Magdalene. It didn't take much for the two to fuse together. Fortunately, if you read Luke 8, it's as if we're meeting Mary Magdalene for the first time.
After I've read all about Mary Magdalene, I have the picture of an older woman who could've easily been Jesus' mother's age. It's possible that she was the widow of a wealthy Jew. She could have been like the spunky older woman at church that seems to be there rain or shine. That's just my speculation.
I've heard it said that war is God's way of teaching us geography. Maybe exposure to misinformation is God's way of teaching me to dig for Truth? |
| posted by Joe Napalm @ 9:37 PM |
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| Monday, May 22, 2006 |
| I Found Stan! |
| He was at the Subway on Middlebrook at lunchtime today! |
| posted by Joe Napalm @ 1:05 PM |
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| Thursday, May 11, 2006 |
| >:( |
| I blogged about a four paragraph blog and lost it. Arrgh. So all you'll get is this rant. |
| posted by Joe Napalm @ 6:43 PM |
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| Tuesday, May 09, 2006 |
| Babe Ruth vs Barry Bonds |
When Barry Bonds hits career homeruns 714 and 715, he will tie and then break Babe Ruth's career record. The major league record, of course, is 755, held by Hank Aaron.
Who was the better athlete? Let's say for a moment that Bonds isn't juiced up on 'roids. I know that's a big "if;" but just for a moment set it aside. Bonds has access to a tremendous amount of modern nutrition science and physical training equipment. In 2003, Muscle and Fitness magazine published Bonds' workout routine: Mondays, chest and biceps; Tuesdays, quads and hamstrings; Wednesdays, back and abs; Thursdays, shoulders and triceps; and Fridays, quads and hamstrings.
His nutrition regimen is even more strict. He eats about 6 times a day. His morning, pre-workout and post-workout meals include specific amounts of whey protein isolates, phenylalanine, glutamines and many other vitamins and minerals. His afternoon, evening and before bedtime meals include the same amounts but add fatty acids, complex carbohydrates and Vitamin B12.
Barry Bonds is definitely a 21st-century athlete.
Babe Ruth, on the other hand, was the poster child of pre-Depression era extravagances -- love of fine food, appetite for alcohol and penchant for late night parties. He showed up for many games drunk. He was ultimately sold to the Yankees because his prima donna antics.
So it boils down to a comparison between a sleek, well-trained meathead and, well, a John Daly look- and act-alike. Who's the better athlete? Drum roll, please. It's a tie! Now, for the tiebreaker: nicknames.
Barry Bonds, nickname: None. Bor-ring! George Herman Ruth, Jr., nickname: Babe, the Great Bambino, the Sultan of Swat. It looks like we have a winner. |
| posted by Joe Napalm @ 5:20 PM |
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| Monday, May 08, 2006 |
| No, Really... |
| ...I do love the smell of napalm in the morning. |
| posted by Joe Napalm @ 5:40 PM |
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| Wednesday, May 03, 2006 |
| A Boy Named Sue |
But a girl named "Mike"? Come on!
People are stealing boy names and giving them to girls; and I'm over it. Daily, girls are given names like Tyler, Brandyn, Jaycen and Micah. How do we fight back? I say point and laugh.
When you're in a crowd and someone calls for their little princess by the name of "Johnnie," I recommend you let out into an obnoxious nose-snort laugh, elbow the random person beside you and point. You can also top it off superbly by channeling Cliff-Clavin and explaining loudly to no one in particular that "Johnnie" is an epicene name -- a name that belongs to or has the characteristics of both the male and female, a sexless name, neuter. Everyone in the room should be able to hear your voice.
I can then imagine young, soon-to-be parents lying in bed discussing their unborn girl's new name and recalling your outburst. Mother-to-be: "How about 'Riley?'" Father-to-be: "No. It's a boy's name. Now, go to bed, Toni."
And now for an obligatory link: http://www.notwithoutmyhandbag.com/babynames/. I've been laughing uncontrollably at this person's comments to baby name questions. My favorite one so far: "Do you honestly think someone naming their daughter Makenzy could find Scotland on a map?" |
| posted by Joe Napalm @ 2:20 PM |
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| Tuesday, May 02, 2006 |
| If You Do Only One Thing Today... |
...then please read this article at OpinionJournal.com. It is one of the most profound and eye-opening articles that I've read in months, maybe years. Talk about "hitting the nail on the head," Mr. Shelby Steele drives the reasons behind the West's recent failures with one blow.
In his article entitled "White Guilt and the Western Past: Why is America so delicate with the enemy?" Mr. Steele takes the reader from the carpet bombings of World War II to today's pussyfooting in Iraq. The reason for the reluctance? You'll just have to read. |
| posted by Joe Napalm @ 8:49 PM |
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