| Wednesday, December 28, 2005 |
| Lost? Then Take a Left, Fool! |
At risk of becoming the unofficial source for all things Mr. T -- and at risk of tarnishing my classy blog template -- I present this:
Mr. T has signed up to deliver celebrity voice content for turn-by-turn driving directions in Navtones car navigation system. Directions from Mr. T will be available for download by the end of 2006. He will provide you with morsels like "Pay attention to what I'm saying," and "Mr. T gonna get you there in one piece ... you gonna be there safely, or else!" Mr. T's voice will cost the navigation system user about $10 to download online.
I pity the fool that takes the wrong exit.
(Hat tip: Hair) |
posted by Joe Napalm @ 10:57 PM   |
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| Tuesday, December 27, 2005 |
| How Can We See Distant Stars in a Young Universe? |
Because of recent discussions at To Blog is Human, A Window into My Life, and Node of Ranvier, I have spent quite some time researching questions about the young-Earth theory. One of the questions: If the universe is young and it takes millions of years for light to get to us from stars, how can we see them? I found a wonderful, thought-provoking article at AnswersInGenesis.com. In fact, my brain is sizzling because of it.
Before agreeing or disagreeing with the ideas put forth in the article, I'm going to have to spend time digesting and investigating. Remember, Joe trusts no one and tests everything. I encourage you to view (peruse?) the entire article (click here).
Please remember to return and comment. |
| posted by Joe Napalm @ 9:29 PM |
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| Sunday, December 25, 2005 |
| ECHELON |
On Joe's desk sits a Gateway personal computer with a 1.6 GHz Pentium 4 processor with 384 MB of RAM, internal storage of 127 GB and an external hard drive with 160 GB of free space. The system is capable of processing 3.2 GB of data per second. Today, you could pick up a similar system on eBay for roughly $300. For $39.99 per month, this PC is connected to a 3 Mbps Internet connection capable of downloading a 10-minute video in a matter of seconds. Imagine a supercomputer that a government agency with a budget of $3.6 billion could operate. I'll help: You can't imagine it.
In 1947, the governments of the United States, the United Kingdom, Canada, Australia and New Zealand signed a secret treaty in which they agreed to cooperate in matters of signals intelligence. The government agreed to pool their geographic and technological assets in order to listen in on the electronic communications of China, the Soviet Union and others. In the 1982 book entitled The Puzzle Palace (I've read through it twice), James Bamford describes how he discovered that the allies were developing a system called PLATFORM, which would integrate at least 52 separate SIGINT agency computer systems into one central network run out of Fort Meade, Maryland.
Today, that computer system's name is ECHELON and it is funded in part by the National Security Agency/Central Security Service (NSA/CSS) headquartered at Fort Meade. ECHELON functions as a real-time intercept and processing operation geared toward civilian communications. Obviously, the NSA targets military communication with other systems. ECHELON's first component targets international phone company telecommunications satellites (or Intelsats) from a series of five ground intercept stations located at Yakima, Washington; Sugar Grove, West Virginia; Morwenstow in Cornwall, England; Waihopai, New Zealand; and Geraldton, Australia.
The next component targets other civilian communications satellites; and the final component intercepts international communications -- all components target email, fax and phone transmissions. A list of keywords or phrases are entered by each country into a "Dictionary" computer, which, after recognizing keywords, intercepts full transmissions and forwards them to analysts.
More than 20 years ago, the CIA director told congressional investigators that the NSA monitored every overseas call made from the United States. In 1996, British Telecom accidentally disclosed in a court case that it had provided a station with equipment which could allow it access to hundreds of thousands of European calls a day. Today, I searched Google for the keyword "echelon" and was given 7,760,000 results in 0.11 seconds. A former NSA officer reminds us "people working on the outer edges have capabilities far in excess of what you do.
ECHELON has the capability to intercept millions of communiques per hour. Therefore, there's a real problem sorting and reading all of the data. It's possible that most of the intercepts are sitting stored and unused. I definitely will not lose sleep over it.
But as with all of the powerful assets that are at the United States Government's disposal, there is potential for abuse. And that, ultimately, is what should be at the root of the recent wiretapping accusations -- not the political maneuvering that is currently taking place in Washington. |
| posted by Joe Napalm @ 10:09 PM |
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| Saturday, December 24, 2005 |
| A Promised Ruler From Bethlehem |
"But you, O Bethlehem Ephrathah,
who are too little to be among the clans of Judah,
from you shall come forth for me
one who is to be ruler in Israel,
whose origin is from of old,
from ancient days." (Micah 5:2, ESV) |
| posted by Joe Napalm @ 7:54 PM |
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| Friday, December 23, 2005 |
| New Look |
| I hope you enjoy the new look. I still have to tweak a few things, but it's 11:40 PM and I have to trot off to bed. |
| posted by Joe Napalm @ 11:34 PM |
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| Thursday, December 22, 2005 |
| 100th Post! |
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| posted by Joe Napalm @ 1:17 PM |
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| Wednesday, December 21, 2005 |
| Kwanzaa |
Who in the blue blazes celebrates Kwanzaa? Nobody I know and nobody you know. Why? Because it's completely made up! A guy by the name of Dr. Maulana Karenga "founded" it in 1966. I imagine he took a long toke on a water pipe, paused dramatically, nodded knowingly and then announced ... "Kwanzaa".
Apparently, Kwanzaa is based on the African Nguzo Saba (or seven guiding principles) which include sexual promiscuity, civil war, socialism and ... I had trouble translating the last one, but it looks like Nigerian chain letters.
Celebrating Kwanzaa involves the use of several items. One of the items is a kinara, or candle holder, and is not to be confused with menorah. I found this on a website: "The Kinara holds seven candles to reflect the seven principles which are the foundation of Kwanzaa. If you don't have a Kinara and don't know where to get one, it is suggested that you use 'kuumba' (creativity) and make one. A 2x4 or a piece of driftwood will do just fine, and screw-in candle holders can be purchased in most hardware stores." Come on! Why can't you just run down to Walgreens and buy one?! Because Kwanzaa is a completely made up holiday!
The Kwanzaa feast is "traditionally" held on December 31. (Is a 39-year old holiday a "tradition"?) Dr. Karenga recommended a format for the year-end celebration. The next-to-last activity of the festival is Tamshi la Tambiko, or Libation Statement. Celebrants are encouraged to pour libation in remembrance of ancestors on this "special occasion". Again, I envision that after Dr. Karenga thought of Kwanzaa he then lifted a forty-ounce (or just "forty") took a sip and poured some on the floor and said, "One sip for me and some for my homies."
Kwanzaa? Give me a break!
Merry Christmas, Fool! |
| posted by Joe Napalm @ 9:08 AM |
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| Monday, December 19, 2005 |
| Computing for Free |
"Free" has a stigma. Or at least I think so. When I think of free, I think of phrases like "shoddy work," "disposable" and "unnecessary". And don't get me started on words like "handout" or "complimentary". However, I do want to call your attention to three programs that are absolutely free. After using this software, maybe "free" will break the bonds of besmirchment. When you use this free software, words like "independent," "individualistic" and "unconstrained" will come to mind.
Linux
Linux is a powerful open-source operating system (or OS). What does open-source mean? It means that everyone has access to the source code and is free to distribute and modify the software. How many times have you said, "I like this program, but..."? With open-source software, you can make the changes and submit them for widespread usage. In other words, many programmers are working to continually make the product better. How can you lose?
 I have only sampled Red Hat's flavor of Linux. I toyed with Red Hat 8.0 and was impressed by several aspects: the user interface was familiar; there are more features than any other OS on the market: and did I mention it's free? I can best describe it as a mix between Windows XP and Apple's OS X.
Linux had its beginnings in the garages of computer geeks. Now, it practically runs the Internet. Corporations use Linux web servers; the gaming industry uses Linux for game servers; and more and more companies are developing Linux-compatible software alongside Windows and Mac versions.
On a scale of 1 to 10 -- 1 being "not worth your time" and 10, "a must have" -- I'd give Linux a 4. Some computer know-how is necessary to install. However, Linux is liberating to use.
OpenOffice
Are you looking for an office suite that includes a word processor, a spreadsheet program and a tool for creating multimedia presentations? Do you really want to spend $413.99? Check out OpenOffice.
Like Linux, OpenOffice is open-source software. So, it's free for use and distribution and is constantly being updated and tested by programmers every day.
OpenOffice offers WRITER, a fully equipped word processor; CALC, a spreadsheet program; IMPRESS, a Microsoft PowerPoint-style tool; DRAW to communicate with graphics; BASE to manipulate database data; and MATH to create equations and formulae for your documents.
 The screenshot on the left is a snapshot of WRITER. You will recognize that it has a familiar feel -- very familiar.
And, like Linux, OpenOffice is feature-rich. You can publish your documents in HTML format or make them available in .PDF format. OpenOffice.org states that you can also "save your documents in OpenDocument format, the new international standard for office documents. This XML based format means you're not tied in to WRITER. You can access your documents from any OpenDocument compliant software [In other words, the next Microsoft Office suite]." (XML is the next "big thing" in document and database sharing.)
With OpenOffice you can even read all of your old Microsoft-format documents, or save your work in Microsoft format for sending to people still stuck with Office 97.
If you do not have an office suite and are considering purchasing one, definitely take a look at OpenOffice. I am currently using it at home and even have a link on this blog. On the same scale of 1 to 10, I'd give OpenOffice an 8.
Mozilla Firefox
 Two words: Tabbed browsing. Firefox will change the way you surf the Internet. "Tabbed browsing in Firefox lets you load Web pages in separate tabs of a single browser window, so you can jump between them quickly and easily. Perhaps you’re reading a news story and want to follow an interesting link without losing your place in the original story. With tabbed browsing, you can do this without filling your desktop with new, unorganized browser windows" (from Mozilla.com).
Firefox is even being used on the computer from which this blog is updated. It is so wonderful that Mrs. Napalm is using Firefox, too! Firefox successfully blocks more pop-up and pop-under ads than Internet Explorer. And Firefox is crazy customizable. Did I mention tabbed browsing?
In fact, I'm cutting this post short because I just discovered that Firefox 1.5 is available. For some reason Joe is still using 1.0.7. Yikes! |
| posted by Joe Napalm @ 5:58 PM |
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| Welcome to the Blogosphere |
Join me in welcoming Heather to the blog scene. Nice template.
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| posted by Joe Napalm @ 10:49 AM |
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| Saturday, December 17, 2005 |
| Glory to God in the Highest |
"Come to Bethlehem and see,
Him whose birth the angels sing
Come adore on bended knee,
Christ the Lord the newborn king."
(Traditional French carol; trans. James Chadwick, 1862) |
| posted by Joe Napalm @ 10:48 AM |
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| Thursday, December 15, 2005 |
| My (Current) Dream |
Many of you know of my dream to open a fitness facility in Seymour or South Knoxville (Wouldn't the new South Grove development be a great place for a gym?). But, I don't have $1 million in capital. I also understand that the fitness business is unpredictable.
So, here's my new dream. However, be prepared for it to change tomorrow.
 The African-American or Black community has no personality or, at least, has lost its identity. When I think of the Mexican community, I think of big families, great restaurants and hard workers. The Asian people have great restaurants and a very rich culture. You can travel around East Tennessee and experience the many great restaurants with Mexican, Thai, Vietnamese or European influence. But what about the African community?
Could we not open a P. F. Chang-style restaurant that serves soul food? I guess you could argue that Shoney's is close (Just kidding). But, I'd like to see a blues-playing, barbecue-and-greens-serving, culture-rich restaurant on Magnolia -- the type of place that you take clients during the weekday and take the family on Friday night.
If that dream is too far-fetched, how about a Popeye's Chicken? Tell me you can't get a grant to open one on the East Side. And I believe Popeye's would be popular enough to open in South Knoxville and Kingston Pike. And then I could fulfill a new dream of having a Maybach with the license plate: "Pop I".
Uh-oh, here comes another dream. Gotta go. |
| posted by Joe Napalm @ 10:30 AM |
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| Wednesday, December 14, 2005 |
| Christians Had December 25 First |
The recent article by Gene Edward Veith in World Magazine entitled "December 25? The origin of Christmas had nothing to do with paganism" has lifted my holiday spirits. So I have posted it for your pleasure.
"According to conventional wisdom, Christmas had its origin in a pagan winter solstice festival, which the church co-opted to promote the new religion. In doing so, many of the old pagan customs crept into the Christian celebration. But this view is apparently a historical myth—like the stories of a church council debating how many angels can dance on the head of a pin, or that medieval folks believed the earth is flat—often repeated, even in classrooms, but not true.
"William J. Tighe, a history professor at Muhlenberg College, gives a different account in his article 'Calculating Christmas,' published in the December 2003 Touchstone Magazine. He points out that the ancient Roman religions had no winter solstice festival.
"True, the Emperor Aurelian, in the five short years of his reign, tried to start one, 'The Birth of the Unconquered Sun,' on Dec. 25, 274. This festival, marking the time of year when the length of daylight began to increase, was designed to breathe new life into a declining paganism. But Aurelian's new festival was instituted after Christians had already been associating that day with the birth of Christ. According to Mr. Tighe, the Birth of the Unconquered Sun 'was almost certainly an attempt to create a pagan alternative to a date that was already of some significance to Roman Christians.' Christians were not imitating the pagans. The pagans were imitating the Christians.
"The early church tried to ascertain the actual time of Christ's birth. It was all tied up with the second-century controversies over setting the date of Easter, the commemoration of Christ's death and resurrection. That date should have been an easy one. Though Easter is also charged with having its origins in pagan equinox festivals, we know from Scripture that Christ's death was at the time of the Jewish Passover. That time of year is known with precision.
"But differences in the Jewish, Greek, and Latin calendars and the inconsistency between lunar and solar date-keeping caused intense debate over when to observe Easter. Another question was whether to fix one date for the Feast of the Resurrection no matter what day it fell on or to ensure that it always fell on Sunday, 'the first day of the week,' as in the Gospels.
"This discussion also had a bearing on fixing the day of Christ's birth. Mr. Tighe, drawing on the in-depth research of Thomas J. Talley's The Origins of the Liturgical Year, cites the ancient Jewish belief (not supported in Scripture) that God appointed for the great prophets an 'integral age,' meaning that they died on the same day as either their birth or their conception.
"Jesus was certainly considered a great prophet, so those church fathers who wanted a Christmas holiday reasoned that He must have been either born or conceived on the same date as the first Easter. There are hints that some Christians originally celebrated the birth of Christ in March or April. But then a consensus arose to celebrate Christ's conception on March 25, as the Feast of the Annunciation, marking when the angel first appeared to Mary.
"Note the pro-life point: According to both the ancient Jews and the early Christians, life begins at conception. So if Christ was conceived on March 25, nine months later, he would have been born on Dec. 25.
"This celebrates Christ's birth in the darkest time of the year. The Celtic and Germanic tribes, who would be evangelized later, did mark this time in their "Yule" festivals, a frightening season when only the light from the Yule log kept the darkness at bay. Christianity swallowed up that season of depression with the opposite message of joy: The light [Jesus] shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it' (John 1:5).
"Regardless of whether this was Christ's actual birthday, the symbolism works. And Christ's birth is inextricably linked to His resurrection." |
| posted by Joe Napalm @ 10:59 AM |
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| Tuesday, December 13, 2005 |
| We Win |
We live in the greatest nation that has ever existed. We live in the United States of America. We are winners. We don't understand losing -- it's not part of our culture.
We defeated the British not once, but twice. We sent them packing in the Revolutionary War and the War of 1812.
We defeated Mexico in the Mexican-American War.
We defeated Spain in the Spanish-American War.
We defeated the Philippines in the US-Philippine War.
We put tyranny in it's place in World War I. We kicked it out of Europe, North Africa and Asia in World War II.
We contained two nuclear world powers and quashed a communist rebellion in the Korean War.
The Vietnam War was a complicated anomaly that deserves a couple of posts of explanation, but I digress.
We won the Cold War, reuniting West Germany and East Germany. Ultimately, winning the Cold War began the downfall of communism in the USSR.
During Operation Desert Storm the US kicked Saddam out of Kuwait and completely dessimated seven Republican Guard divisions in less than four days -- 23,000 dead Iraqis and 148 Americans killed in action.
In 13 days, the US overthrew Taliban leaders and liberated Afghanistan. 78 days after the beginning of combat operations the Afghan interim government was inaugurated. Russia spent nearly ten years trying to accomplish the same thing.
Not only did we win in Operation Iraqi Freedom, but we're teaching the Iraqis how to win. And it starts with the elections this week.
"I firmly believe that any man's finest hour, the greatest fulfillment of all that he holds dear, is the moment when he has worked his heart out in a good cause and lies exhausted on the field of battle-victorious." - Vince Lombardi |
| posted by Joe Napalm @ 3:09 PM |
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| Monday, December 12, 2005 |
| ...To the end it may be a government of laws and not of men |
The recent reporting on two death penalty cases in the US has fascinated me. The slanted and biased reporting never amazes me; but, I am amazed at the total apathy about concepts and rules on which our country was founded. Today's lesson? Rule of Law.
North Carolina executed the 1,000th person in the US since capital punishment was reinstituted in 1976. And tonight at 12:01 AM PST, California will execute the co-founder of the notorious gang known as the Crips. Both cases were highly publicized -- the 1000th death for the simple fact that it was the 1000th; and the Crips co-founder case for the fact that Hollywood elitists like Jamie Foxx and Jesse Jackson are speaking out about it. Even though they were highly publicized, I had to search through pages and pages of Internet search results to find the crimes for which these men were charged. Not only do most sites not mention the crimes, they do not mention the victims either.
So, today I present the details of the crimes for which these two men were convicted in case you were interested. It will become obvious why several courts found these men guilty.
The 1000th person to be put to death by the justice system in the US since 1976 was Kenneth Boyd. After more than 17 years on death row, he was executed on December 2, 2005 at 2:00 AM. Boyd never denied the charges. In fact, during the interrogation he rejected legal representation stating he felt that he deserved the gas chamber.
From ProDeathPenalty.com:Kenneth Lee Boyd was sentenced to death July 14, 1994, in Rockingham County Superior Court for the March 1988 shooting deaths of his estranged wife Julie Curry Boyd and her father Thomas Dillard Curry. The shootings were committed in the presence of his own children, then ages 13, 12 and 10, as well as other witnesses, all of whom testified against Boyd at trial.
According to family members, Julie had endured an extremely stormy marriage for 13 years before finally leaving Boyd and moving herself and her children in with her father. Boyd repeated [sic] stalked Julie, once handing one of their sons a bullet and a note to give his mother that said the bullet was intended for her.
On March 4, 1988 Boyd drove around with his boys, telling them he was going to go and kill everyone at his father-in-law's home. When they arrived, he entered the home and shot and killed both his wife and her father with a .357 Magnum pistol. One of Julie's sons was pinned under his mother's body as Boyd continued to fired [sic] at her. The child scrambled out from beneath his mom's body and wriggled under a nearby bed to escape the hail of bullets. When Boyd tried to reload the pistol, another son tried to grab it. Boyd went to the car, reloaded his gun, came back into the house and called 911, telling the emergency operator, "I've shot my wife and her father - come on and get me." Then more gunshots can be heard on the 911 recording. Law enforcement officers arrived and as they approached Boyd came out of the nearby woods with his hands up and surrendered to the officers.
Later, after being advised of his rights, Boyd gave a lengthy confession in which he described the fatal shootings.
Boyd was found guilty twice, in two separate trials. His first trial was overturned after the judge dismissed a juror but failed to record the conversation, ultimately violating Boyd's constitutional rights. The second trial also found him guilty and sentenced him to death.
The second capital punishment case that has been receiving a lot of press is the one of Stanley "Tookie" Williams. He is scheduled to die tonight at 12:01 PM EST in California for the murder of four people in 1981. His story has been so muddled by Hollywood elitists and celebs that it is almost disgusting to read the news articles. Williams has even been nominated several times for the Nobel Prize for literature for his work on a series of children's books. And, last year, the cable channel FX aired a movie called "Redemption" that depicted the killer as an advocate for peace.
However, an unanimous jury found him guilty in 1981 and he was sentenced to death after a penalty phase in which no evidence was presented to spare his life.
Again, from ProDeathPenalty.com:In the first murder, a jury convicted Williams of shooting to death a 7-Eleven clerk for $120. An accomplice testified that Williams gunned down Albert Lewis Owens, a father of two daughters, to eliminate any witnesses. Williams, according to his cohorts, later mimicked the sounds Owens made as he lay dying.
Two weeks later, the same jury found, he killed again at a downtown Los Angeles motel, shooting motel owners Thsai-Shai and Yen-I-Yang, and their daughter, Yee Chen Lin. There were no eyewitnesses, but a number of people testified that Williams told them he killed the three with a shotgun to keep them from identifying him as he robbed them of $600. Williams was also a founder of one of the worst gangs in America. The Crips have been responsible for thousands of deaths including a baby who was shot in a next-door drive-by shooting and a woman who was trying to buy groceries and was shot in the back.
In none of these cases did the family or friends of the victims decide the punishment of the convicted. Neither did a celebrity or organization choose the disciplinary action.
I'll finish this long and interminable lesson on the rule of law with the following quote: "The rule of law implies that government authority may only be exercised in accordance with written laws, which were adopted through an established procedure. The principle is intended to be a safeguard against arbitrary rulings in individual cases" (emphasis mine). |
| posted by Joe Napalm @ 7:42 PM |
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| Friday, December 09, 2005 |
| The Chronicles of Narnia |
I know many of you will tune into my blog today to see comments on "The Chronicles of Narnia" (If not, just assuage my ego). I'll spare you a detailed review to be sensitive to the fact that many of you want the movie experience to be brand new.
On a cinematic scale of 1 to 10: 1 being that horrible movie that BJ brought home about the guy in West Virginia that worshipped Elvis, and 10 being "The Lord of the Rings" trilogy, I'd give "Narnia" a 9.
But the plot is the "greatest story ever told". The movie is a magnificent worship experience! You will come out wanting to sing from the highest places. Awe-inspiring.
Warning: If you haven't read the book by C. S. Lewis, the following will be a plot spoiler:
The part of the movie that moved me the most was after Aslan and the White Witch confer about the future of Edmund. Aslan and the witch step out of the tent while everyone is watching with bated breath. Aslan announces to the gathered crowd that the witch has denied her claim on Edmund's life. However, the witch is still gloating about something. She peers over her shoulder while being escorted out of Aslan's presence and says, "How do I know I can trust you?" Aslan only answers with a tremendous roar! The White Witch slinks away.
I was moved to tears.
Worthy is the Lion of Judah! |
| posted by Joe Napalm @ 8:42 AM |
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| Thursday, December 08, 2005 |
| Redneck Christmas |
If you can't quite make it out, let me help: It's a redneck with a potato gun standing next to a Christmas deer decoration that has been field dressed. Good stuff, huh? |
| posted by Joe Napalm @ 1:52 PM |
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| Wednesday, December 07, 2005 |
| Christmas Tree with Personality |
Yesterday, I overheard two co-workers talking about Christmas decorations. One woman was telling the other that she has two trees in here house. Her children have a tree downstairs and a "formal" tree in the upstairs living room. She said that the kids could decorate their tree how they see fit and it wouldn't detract from her more formal decorations upstairs -- the guests wouldn't see the kids' tree.
That broke my heart.
You see, when you walk into my parents' house during the Christmas season, you will see what we affectionately refer to as the "Junk Tree". Now, that's misleading because nothing on the tree is "junk". The tree is filled with years and years of memories. Almost every priceless ornament was either handmade or purchased to commemorate a remembrance.
There are ornaments that date back before me. There are ornaments from my, M's and Wesley's first Christmases. There are ornaments from family and ornaments from next door neighbors. There are cross-stiched ornaments, brass ornaments, small ornaments, big ornaments. And none of the ornaments match. It's a patch-work tree. And it's beautiful!
I love Christmas for the familiarity of sounds, smells and traditions. And one tradition that hasn't been relegated to the basement is the "Junk Tree". We'll be sharing time together this Christmas; and maybe one of those ornaments will spark a conversation, or a laugh, or a solemn reflection. Maybe a new ornament will be hung.
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| posted by Joe Napalm @ 9:48 AM |
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| Tuesday, December 06, 2005 |
| Blast from the Past |
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| posted by Joe Napalm @ 3:22 PM |
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| Monday, December 05, 2005 |
| The Forbes Fictional Fifteen |
15. Lucius Malfoy ($900 million)
14. Cruella De Vil ($1 billion)
13. Lara Croft ($1 billion)
12. Ebenezer Scrooge ($1.7 billion)
11. Arthur Bach ($2 billion)
10. Willy Wonka ($2.3 billion)
9. Thurston Howell, III ($5.7 billion)
8. Bruce Wayne ($6.5 billion)
7. Jed Clampett ($6.6 billion)
6. Scrooge McDuck ($8.2 billion)
5. Charles Montgomery Burns ($8.4 billion)
4. Lex Luthor ($10.1 billion)
3. Richie Rich ($17 billion)
2. Oliver "Daddy" Warbucks ($27.3 billion)
1. Santa Claus (∞)
(Forbes Magazine, 11/29/2005)
Of interesting note, Joe is in the top 2.01% richest people in the world. There are roughly 5.88 billion people poorer than Joe. Party like P. Diddy!
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| posted by Joe Napalm @ 9:04 PM |
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| Quote of the Day |
| "Maybe atheists would have an easier time winning acceptance if they didn't act like such jerks all the time." (OpinionJournal.com, 12/2/2005) |
| posted by Joe Napalm @ 1:52 PM |
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| Thursday, December 01, 2005 |
| Ready? Fight! |
Remember Mortal Kombat? Think back in the midst of Vanilla Ice, mullets, Paula Abdul, parachute pants and the Beastie Boys. Yep, I thought you'd remember. I also thought you'd enjoy this video*.
* I loved the bicycle kick! Oh, yeah, and forward-down-forward-high punch was Sub Zero's head rip fatality. Finish him!
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| posted by Joe Napalm @ 8:15 PM |
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| Dilbert Imitates Life |
Good comedy is rooted in reality. And I believe that is why Dilbert has been so popular. Let me share a ridiculous situation here at work as an example of management gone awry--or at least retro--to drive the point home:
At work (you know, the cover job to hide my superhero identity?) I order parts for an automobile component. I have three co-workers and a supervisor. Together, we have about 30 different companies that supply roughly 300 different parts. We order parts to deliver just-in-time. During any given week, at least one or two suppliers are past due because of material or production problems. Until last week, we tracked these critical parts individually and reported problems to our supervisor if we anticipated a dilemma. But thanks to a new vice-president of purchasing, we have a new method.
The new vice-president devised this marvelously 1980s, time-consuming, almost technology-free plan. He directed my supervisor to hang a new 4-foot by 8-foot dry-erase board in his office with various column headings such as "Part Number," "Quantity," and "Date Due". My supervisor has to update this board every morning to track the parts. You can imagine how much we hate the board because it has added work to fix a problem that didn't exist.
Here's the kicker: My supervisor then has to take a digital photo of the board and email it to the vice-president! I almost laugh every time I think of the VP squinting at his computer screen trying to decipher the bad handwriting in a grainy picture of the board. It's ironic that my supervisor has requisitioned a brand new $400 digital camera here at year-end when all of the salaried employees' cost reduction ideas are due. But, you can only imagine how puffed up the VP is about his wonderful stone-age idea.
This morning as we all met in my supervisor's office I recommended that we could eliminate that silly board by sharing a spreadsheet on the shared network drive and use Excel's "track changes" option. That way everyone in the department would be able to update it throughout the day; and at any given moment, the VP could view it from his desk. You should've seen the blank looks!
Who knows? The whole problem could be rooted in the fact that the VP doesn't have a computer but a Etch-a-Sketch. Hmm?
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| posted by Joe Napalm @ 11:21 AM |
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