| Tuesday, November 29, 2005 |
| Thought of the Day |
| When someone says that they want to see "a sense of urgency," do they mean a sense of panic? |
posted by Joe Napalm @ 11:40 AM   |
|
|
|
| Monday, November 28, 2005 |
| JAR (Joe's Archaeological Review) |
Reuters.UK reported on November 13, 2005, that "Goliath's name" was found in an archaeological dig. This is the first archaeological evidence suggesting "the biblical story of David slaying the Philistine giant actually took place." You can read all about it here.
At the end of the article I found it interesting that the head of the archaeology department at a university near Tel-Aviv said, "Up until now most of what we know about the Philistines is from the Bible's point of view. ... We get a very, very subjective view. They're the bad people, the barbarians, we don't get anything nice about them. When we look at the Philistines from an archaeological point of view we get evidence of a very rich, dynamic, fascinating and advanced culture." The archaeologists should have counted themselves lucky that the Israelites took a right turn coming out of Egypt. There probably wouldn't have been artifacts to discover if the Children had taken the coastal road to Canaan.
Also, as recorded in the Bible we know that Lot's daughters slept with their father and bore him sons. I have skimmed over the story several times and, normally, have curled my nose in disgust. But, why did they do it? I read it last night in a new light.
Imagine the daughters and their family in flight from the the sudden and total destruction of two cities. On the way their mother looks over her shoulder and--POOF!--is turned into a pillar of salt. A couple of nights later, the two girls, their father and the rest of the household are holed up in a cave outside of Zoar. They probably believed that they were the only people on the face of the Earth--Noah style. So, the oldest daughter devises a plan to carry on their father's line and repopulate the Earth. Read it. Makes sense, huh?
When a caravan of nomads passed by the cave a couple of days later, the oldest daughter reportedly screamed, "Doh!" |
| posted by Joe Napalm @ 10:00 AM |
|
|
|
| Wednesday, November 23, 2005 |
| Free Prose...Wednesday? |
No, it's not Friday; but I plan to take a four-day sabbatical from blogging. I will be spending time with family, a refrigerator full of leftovers and a bottle of Mylanta.
1. I know it's way too late to weigh in on the Katrina Hurricane. But this subject just caught my attention. In the flurry of bad reporting during the disaster, a British conspiracy nut named Leo Sheridan reported that 36 US Navy dolphins armed with "toxic dart" guns were missing in the Gulf of Mexico. It was reported that the dolphins had been trained by the US military to shoot terrorists and pinpoint underwater spies. You can read more on this ridiculous report here.
The story is a bunch of bunk. I mean, since the United States spends roughly $425 billion on defense we'd obviously have sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads.
2. And since we're on the subject of Katrina: Did you know that none of the New Orleans public schools (102 of the 117 schools were performing below the state average) are open? But 8 of the 35 private Catholic schools are back teaching less than three months after the hurricane. In which grade do you learn to spell "voucher"?
3. By my count, there will be about 30 people at the annual Thanksgiving gathering. Wow! That's awesome!
4. I like to say the name Mikimoto.
5. Yes, to be right all of the time is a thankless task. |
| posted by Joe Napalm @ 10:36 AM |
|
|
|
| Tuesday, November 22, 2005 |
| Backseat Banter |
The other night I was eating pistachios and offered one to Ethan. He curled his nose and asked how they taste. I told him that they taste just like any other salty nut--like peanuts or walnuts. He thought that would be OK and took one. As soon as he bit into the nut it was obvious that he didn't care for it at all. He looked at me and said, "It tastes like I put a big ol' pile of mud in my mouth."
I laughed and said, "Mud?"
He looked at me with a stern expression in all sincerity and said, "I'm being serious, Dad. I'm not joking. It tastes like mud."
And then the other night Heather and I were in the living room talking while Jacob was in the kitchen working on homework. We heard, "Aaaarrrgggghhhh!"
Heather and I asked at once, "What's the matter?"
With his head in his hands, Jacob replied, "I wrote 'Jacod'." You see, Jacob, bless his heart, struggles with writing "b" and "d". |
| posted by Joe Napalm @ 11:10 AM |
|
|
|
| Monday, November 21, 2005 |
| Quote |
I know quotes can be tedious to read. But I heard this quote this weekend and am attempting to use it sometime during the workday.
Mr. Madison, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I've ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response was there anything that could even be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul! ("Billy Madison" (1995) starring Adam Sandler)
|
| posted by Joe Napalm @ 3:48 PM |
|
|
|
| Saturday, November 19, 2005 |
| There Is None Other |
"'Are you not thirsty?' said the Lion.
"'I'm dying of thirst,' said Jill.
"'Then drink,' said the Lion.
"'May I--could I--would you mind going away while I do?' said Jill.
"The Lion answered this only by a look and a very low growl. And as Jill gazed at its motionless bulk, she realised that she may as well have asked the whole mountain to move aside for her convenience.
"The delicious rippling noise of the spring was driving her nearly frantic.
"'Will you promise not to--do anything to me, if I come?' said Jill.
"'I make no promise,' said the Lion.
"Jill was so thirsty now that, without noticing it, she had come a step closer.
"'Do you eat girls?' she said.
"'I have swallowed up girls and boys, women and men, kings and emporers, cities and realms,' said the Lion. It didn't say this as if it were boasting, nor as if it were sorry, nor as if it were angry. It just said it.
"'I daren't come and drink,' said Jill.
"'Then you will die of thirst,' said the Lion.
"'Oh dear!" said Jill, coming another step nearer. 'I suppose I must go and look for another stream then.'
"'There is no other stream,' said the Lion." (The Silver Chair, C.S. Lewis)
Sound safe? |
| posted by Joe Napalm @ 2:18 PM |
|
|
|
| Friday, November 18, 2005 |
| A Day With The Beavers |
"'They say Aslan is on the move--perhaps has already landed.'
"And now a very curious thing happened. None of the children knew who Aslan was any more than you do; but the moment the Beaver had spoken these words eveyone felt quite different. Perhaps it has sometimes happened to you in a dream that someone says something which you don't understand but in the dream it feels as if it had some enormous meaning--either a terrifying one which turns the whole dream into a nightmare or else a lovely meaning too lovely to put into words, which makes the dream so beautiful that you remember it all your life and are always wishing you could get into that dream again. It was like that now. At the name of Aslan each one of the children felt something jump in its inside. Edmund felt a sensation of mysterious horror. Peter felt suddenly brave and adventurous. Susan felt as if some delicious smell or some delightful strain of music had just floated by her. And Lucy got the feeling you have when you wake up in the morning and realize that it is the beginning of the holidays or the beginning of summer." (The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, C.S. Lewis, 1950)
|
| posted by Joe Napalm @ 5:43 PM |
|
|
|
| Thursday, November 17, 2005 |
| Everybody Loves Mr. T |
...But did you know?*
- Mr. T's edition of the VH1 show 'Where Are They Now' was the shortest in the show's history. It was 10 seconds long, and consisted of a black screen with the words "Right Behind You" written on it.
- 23. That's the number of people Mr. T has pitied in the time it has taken you to read this sentence.
- Mr. T is allergic to doorknobs. That's why he can only kick through doors.
- The last time Mr. T went to McDonald's, Ronald McDonald greeted him. What occured next proved to be the most violent beating of a clown ever recorded in human history.
- Despite popular belief, if there is a fool in the woods, and nobody is around to hear his jibba jabba, Mr. T is still able to pity him.
- When Dr. Bruce Banner gets angry, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets angry, he turns into Mr. T.
- Mr. T's hair style is actually a complex array of antennas that can triangulate the exact location of any fool in the universe. His gold chains can then transmit pity to those coordinates.
- Originally the A-Team was named T-Team and consisted of Mr. T and six of his genetically engineered clones driving around in a van made of pure gold. Producers changed the format after every criminal known to man was killed in the pilot episode.
- Mr. T made his van go twice the speed of light because he wanted to prove that quantum physics was a bunch of jibba jabba.
- If you were ever foolish enough to get into a fight with Mr. T, there would only be two hits: Mr. T hitting you, and you hitting the surface of the Sun.
- The vegetarian group PETA one time tried to establish the catchphrase "We PETA the fool who eats animals." Upon learning of this blatant theft of his catchphrase, Mr. T founded McDonalds.
- Mr. T invented Asian people, because he thinks they're cute and don't take up much room.
- Mr. T once got into a fight with a ninja. He killed the ninja, but only after the ninja had cut off two of his fingers. Those fingers grew up to be Gary Coleman and Webster.
- Mr. T can count past infinity.
- When Mr. T has nightmares, people around him start dying for no reason.
- Mr. T defines love as the reluctance to murder. If you're still alive, it's because Mr. T loves you.
- Mr. T was once clocked at 100 fps. That's 100 fools pitied a second.
- Mr. T was fired from the Psychic Friends Network for always predicting pain.
- Mr. T does not play the guitar, but he will bash your face in with one.
- If at the exact same moment, the same person was pitied by Mr. T and roundhouse kicked by Chuck Norris, the universe would implode.
- World champion eater Takeru Kobayashi once ate 53.5 hot dogs in 12 minutes. Allotted the same time, Mr. T ate Kobayashi.
- The Soviet Union once pitied Mr. T. That's why there is no Soviet Union.
* I can't take credit for this. But, I don't want to give the link because the unabridged list has some mild language. A simple Google search will help you find the exhaustive list.
|
| posted by Joe Napalm @ 7:04 PM |
|
|
|
| Wednesday, November 16, 2005 |
| Bush Lied? |
| "The Republican National Committee has an excellent video--available ... directly here--with clips of various Democrats, during both the Clinton and Bush administrations, arguing about the menace that Saddam Hussein posed." (OpinionJournal.com, "Best of the Web Today." November 16, 2005) |
| posted by Joe Napalm @ 4:38 PM |
|
|
|
| Tuesday, November 15, 2005 |
| Upcoming Events |
I'm stoked about these upcoming and past events:
- Tomorrow, while Dad is away at the Tennessee Baptist Convention, I've been asked to lead the Wednesday night service at church. I'm riding a wave from the inspired post below about hope and I think I'll develop that further.
- On December 8, Love 89 is hosting an advance screening of "Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe" at Regal's Pinnacle 18 at Turkey Creek. The movie passes include a meal from Petros and a praise and worship time before the movie begins. Jacob, Ethan and I have been reading a chapter each night from the book and we are excited about attending the event. In fact, if anyone else wants to join us, let me know.
- Matthew's group won today! I'm not entirely sure of all the details, but his group's presentation of their nuclear engineering senior project beat out the other group that was competing. He is currently in Washington, DC. What did he win? A plaque. Ho-hum. But, congratulations, Matthew!
- Thanksgiving is coming up! Man, do I love Thanksgiving.
- In December, my family and I are going to turn the TV off for a month. We'll read, play games and spend time together without that infernal noise is the corner.
And, "Les," welcome to the blogging community! |
| posted by Joe Napalm @ 8:04 PM |
|
|
|
|
| The Older I Get... |
| ...the more I see the wisdom in arranged marriages. |
| posted by Joe Napalm @ 2:47 PM |
|
|
|
| Monday, November 14, 2005 |
| Complicated Hope |
I heard it mentioned this weekend that a portion of Ezekiel that was read lacked hope. So that sent me off to find a proper definition of hope as displayed in the Bible. And, more importantly, I needed an answer in case the problem was ever presented to me.
The American Heritage Dictionary defines hope as "the theological virtue defined as the desire and search for a future good." That didn't quite represent the meaning for which I was looking. Biblical hope isn't biblical wishing.
We Christians use words like love, peace and hope and assign definitions that are "warm and fuzzy" or "pie in the sky" dreamy. They are hollow words without substance similar to the definition above.
If we read through Ezekiel and other prophetic works beginning with Jeremiah, we find plenty of messages of warning, judgment and disaster. God's prophets call for repentance and righteousness. If there is no repentance, then there is stored-up wrath. In these books, you see God's justice at the point application—in essence, where the "bullet hits the bone."
In our reading, what hope does a wicked and unrepentant nation have? A rebellious and unapologetic sinner? None.
So to give the words like love, peace and hope substance—or “meat”—God directs the rebellious to recognize their error. God instructs the wicked to become aware of their pitiful state. And now, if we recognize our detestable situation, and we honestly run and seek The Refuge, enter hope.
Hope, then, is better defined is “confident expectation” or “full assurance” because the word now has a target and carries some weight. And we come across remarkable assurances like:
Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us. (Romans 5:1-5) With repentance comes hope. With God’s fulfilled promises comes hope. With a Savior comes hope. With an expectation of His promised return comes hope.
Therefore, brethren, stand fast and hold the traditions which you were taught, whether or by word or our epistle. Now may our Lord Jesus Christ Himself, and our God and Father, who has loved us and given us everlasting consolation and good hope by grace, comfort your hearts and establish you in every good word and work. (2 Thessalonians 2:15-17)
To relegate the Lord's spiritual gift of hope to merely a "future state of happiness,” or worse yet, to only an unsure “possibility” of future happiness, is simply wrong.
|
| posted by Joe Napalm @ 7:11 PM |
|
|
|
| Sunday, November 13, 2005 |
| Sunday Thoughts |
When He shall come with trumpet sound,
Oh may I then in Him be found.
Dressed in His righteousness alone,
Faultless to stand before the throne.
(Edward Mote, "Solid Rock." Circa 1834.) |
| posted by Joe Napalm @ 9:03 PM |
|
|
|
| Saturday, November 12, 2005 |
| Living Revisited |
Of course, someone always seems to have said it better. Heather had read my post about life and death. And then she ran into this quote from G.K. Chesterton this week:
"Courage is almost a contradiction in terms. It means a strong desire to live taking the form of a readiness to die. 'He that will lose his life, the same shall save it,' is not a piece of mysticism for saints and heroes. It is a piece of everyday advice for sailors or mountaineers. It might be printed in an Alpine guide or a drill book. The paradox is the whole principle of courage, even of quite earthly or quite brutal courage. A man cut off by the sea may save his life if he will risk it on the precipice. He can only get away from death by continually stepping within an inch of it. A soldier surrounded by enemies, if he is to cut his way out, needs to combine a strong desire for living with a strange carelessness about dying. He must not merely cling to life, for then he will be a coward, and will not escape. He must not merely wait for death, for then he will be a suicide, and will not escape. He must seek his life in a spirit of furious indifference to it; he must desire life like water and yet drink death like wine. No philosopher, I fancy, has ever expressed this romantic riddle with adequate lucidity and I certainly have not done so, but Christianity has done more. It has marked the limits of it in the awful graves of the suicide and the hero, showing the distance between him who dies for the sake of living, and him who dies for the sake of dying, and it has held up ever since, above the European lances, the banner of the mystery of chivalry, the Christian courage, which is a disdain of death."
Thank you, Heather.
In my opinion, there are two must-haves for everyone's library. The first is Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis. The second is the 1908 work by G.K. Chesterton entitled Orthodoxy. |
| posted by Joe Napalm @ 12:12 PM |
|
|
|
| Friday, November 11, 2005 |
| The Greatest Family Ever |
I quite possibly have the greatest family ever. I present the evidence:
- Heather is the crown on my head. She is a loving wife and caring mother.
- Jacob and Ethan are my rough and tumble adventure.
- Dad is my pastor. And he was intrumental in introducing me to Jesus.
- Mom is a nurturer who was the rudder of my boyhood.
- My sister Emily reaches for perfection. She's creative and no nonsense.
- My brother Matthew is a friggin' nuclear engineer and yearns to learn every day.
- My brother-in-law BJ is my best friend. He's an encourager.
- My father-in-law Rees cares very much for my family.
- My mother-in-law Bette has taught me to hug.
- And I haven't even mentioned six grandparents (...Long story. Don't ask.), seven uncles, seven aunts and boatloads of in-laws and cousins.
The defense rests. |
| posted by Joe Napalm @ 8:57 AM |
|
|
|
| Wednesday, November 09, 2005 |
| Turkey Day |
A few things for which I am thankful:
Turkey with gravy
Mashed potatoes with gravy
Stuffing with gravy
Green beans
Fruit salad
Heather's homemade rolls to sop up the gravy
Pecan Pie
Sweet Tea
Good conversation
And football (with gravy?). |
| posted by Joe Napalm @ 2:03 PM |
|
|
|
| Tuesday, November 08, 2005 |
| Op. Cit. |
Earlier I blogged that I was going to order new business cards with a haughty title. Well, "was" is now "did". The cards are on order.
Here is a portion of the proof that was faxed yesterday:
The accompanying note from Jason at Graphic Creations said, "Title a little long, Your Excellence". You'll see that my name is misspelled. It'll be corrected and I should receive the cards by next week. |
| posted by Joe Napalm @ 10:53 AM |
|
|
|
| Monday, November 07, 2005 |
| A Virtuous Woman |
An excellent wife, who can find?
For her worth is far above jewels.
The heart of her husband trusts in her,
And he will have no lack of gain.
She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life.
She looks for wool and flax
And works with her hands in delight.
She is like merchant ships;
She brings her food from afar.
She rises also while it is still night
And gives food to her household
And portions to her maidens.
She considers a field and buys it;
From her earnings she plants a vineyard.
She girds herself with strength
And makes her arms strong.
She senses that her gain is good;
Her lamp does not go out at night.
She stretches out her hands to the distaff,
And her hands grasp the spindle.
She extends her hand to the poor,
And she stretches out her hands to the needy.
She is not afraid of the snow for her household,
For all her household are clothed with scarlet.
She makes coverings for herself;
Her clothing is fine linen and purple.
Her husband is known in the gates,
When he sits among the elders of the land.
She makes linen garments and sells [them,]
And supplies belts to the tradesmen.
Strength and dignity are her clothing,
And she smiles at the future.
She opens her mouth in wisdom,
And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
She looks well to the ways of her household,
And does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children rise up and bless her;
Her husband [also,] and he praises her, [saying:]
"Many daughters have done nobly,
But you excel them all."
Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain,
[But] a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.
Give her the product of her hands,
And let her works praise her in the gates.
(Proverbs 31:10-31, NASB)
I love you, Heather. |
| posted by Joe Napalm @ 11:14 AM |
|
|
|
| Thursday, November 03, 2005 |
| Bureaucracy |
I received an email today that stated that all salary employees have to turn in one cost reduction idea annually. Mine is due December 15.
One thing that I have noticed since I began at ARC Automotive is the amount food that passes by my desk. It seems that every other day the company is holding a luncheon meeting for employees. So, I thought surely that I could recommend reducing some of those costs.
My mission started with my team. I asked if it had been tried before and with what affect. They said that I would meet immediate resistance. Apparently, HR and Quality love their free weekly lunches. My team was of no help and little encouragement.
I called Tena is accounting and asked for some budget numbers and year-to-date expenses for food. She immediately caught wind of my idea and avoided any details. She even said that she'd call me back. It's been 3 days and I'm still waiting.
So I emailed the plant manager's assistant. She is quitting on Friday so I figured she'd freely give the average weekly food expenses. Nope. She balked at putting it in writing. She stopped by my desk and whispered it: $400 per week.
$400 times 48 weeks is $19,200 in a year. Food is 50% deductible according to the IRS. So, ARC Automotive spends about $10,000 a year in food (not counting travel or sales meetings). If you cut out all luncheon-meetings, the savings is obvious. But all I recommended was to cut it in half for an annual savings of $5,000.
I put my plan in writing and my supervisor denied it. He said that we'd make too many enemies. He also said that the cost reduction would be a "slap in the plant manager's face." The luncheon-meetings are his idea.
I met resistance all the way from my co-workers to the accounting department, from the boss's assistant to my very own supervisor. What's next? Will I find a horse's head in bed with me tomorrow morning? Come to think of it, my computer has been acting up. Maybe they've tapped all communication from this cubicle. Who are those men in sunglasses and suits...? |
| posted by Joe Napalm @ 5:51 PM |
|
|
|
| Tuesday, November 01, 2005 |
| Brush With Celebrity |
Celebrities--or well-known personalities--that I've met (in no particular order):
- Dolly Parton - I had a picture taken with her and I can't seem to find it.
- Ted Nugent - I ate dinner with him in Kosovo and spoke politics.
- Toby Keith - Same as Ted Nugent above, but he didn't speak.
- Charlie Daniels - He signed a t-shirt.
- Fuzzy Zoeller - Professional golfer who signed a golfball and Dad's baseball cap.
- Fred Thompson - I spoke with him briefly at a military function.
- Heath Shular - His girlfriend dropped her tray at Rafter's grill and I picked it up. He said, "Thank you".
- Al Gore - OK, he doesn't really count because he was at a distance.
- And I've met others that I wouldn't really consider "celebrity". There's local news and radio personalities such as Matt Hinkin and Hallerin Hill. And I've met several local and State government representatives like John Duncan, Jr., Tim Burchett and others.
Why do I care enough to blog about it? I don't know. I was just reminiscing.... |
| posted by Joe Napalm @ 7:58 PM |
|
|
|
|
|
